Redo
by Lizardstep
Summary: "Why, oh why, did I let that clumsyfoot follow me out." It was a windy day. All of a sudden, a maple branch came crashing down onto Leafdrop's childhood friend, Breezespark. She tries to go back in time to save him.


"You're going on a patrol, Leafdrop? I'll come with you!"

It was windy today, and why, oh why, did I let that clumsyfoot follow me out.

Several blood colored leaves clung loosely to the huge branch on the ground, the body beneath it tiny and frail in comparison. I was still taking in everything that happened.

My childhood friend, standing beside me only a moment ago, is now a squashed lifeless corpse. Those once spirited blue eyes laid shadowed behind the twigs covering his face.

_What happened?_

He was alive only a while ago, pouncing around and making jokes no one would find funny. He was alive then, when we paced through the bitter cold river near the borders, seconds before the wind raged and brought this deadly branch crashing its way down.

My head thumped. If this was how easy a life could be lost, then surely it could be saved just as easily. The red leaves on the branch, carried by the wind, soared to the sky, and my gaze followed it up, up, up. Sunshine pierced my eyes, blessing me with moments of blindness. The sun still shone as if nothing happened, high and graceful in the sky.

It was as if nothing happened. No, perhaps nothing happened at all.

Then he would be…

He is… alive.

**...**

Patrols, vital things in order to keep the clan running. Like everyone who woke early today, a beautiful day according to the leader (whose name is Windystar, so I suppose he is immune to strong winds), I was thrown immediately out of camp to go on a patrol.

I did not defy like I did last today, knowing it would be useless to argue against the unsympathetic leader. Thanks, Windystar. I guess I'll try to fix the future by myself.

I left camp quickly, the image of the russet tom still fresh in my mind. If he didn't tag along on my usual patrolling path, he surely wouldn't get squashed, right? Finding myself a bush way out of the branch's eventual impact zone, I waited.

Just need to make sure the accident doesn't happen, then I can continue my patrol. If Breezespark didn't follow me out, he wouldn't have left camp that rushed. This should all work out fine.

"You fools! Leave. Leave now!"I yelled at Breezespark and Feathershine, a senior warrior. Oh, may I correct myself, they're not fools. They only have no idea what's about to happen.

Ignoring my warning, or perhaps they didn't hear it (of course they didn't, it's cat-toppling windy), they smiled and padded towards me.

"No, don't come-" I screamed, the wind screamed, the branch cracked again.

Before horror could spread to their expressions, before fear could twist their faces, red leaves fluttered through the sky. Following a thump.

He didn't follow me out, but how did it still end like this? Now two cats are dead.

The splashes of the river echoed and roared in my ears, deafening my senses. I'll fix it all next time for sure.

**...**

Suddenly feeling hungry, I sneaked to the well stocked fresh-kill pile. Squirrels are abundant in the chilly leaf-fall weather, but I dislike the sweet and nutty taste of it. Squirrel, vole, mouse, squirrel, crow (who caught a crow and threw it in here?). Underneath them all, I saw a hint of orange feathers. Some cat left a robin here. My favourite prey, of all things!

I picked up the robin, sat down aside to gulp it down, and lightly trodded back towards the warriors den. Familiar pawsteps behind. I froze, realizing I have been spotted. This could only lead to one thing...

"What a beautiful day, isn't it, Leafdrop? Can you go-"

"No can do!" I spun around, cutting Windystar off. "Oh StarClan, I sure am feeling sleepy! Well, I'm off to catch up with my sleep." I laughed nervously at the worst lie I've made my whole life, and raced off to the warriors den.

If Breezespark were to end up coincidentally at that falling branch no matter who he went on a patrol with, should I just lead him somewhere else?

No, judging by the wind and the state of the forest, it'd be best if he didn't leave camp at all. I sat down at my nest beside Breezespark's.

His chest rose and faltered in rhythm, the crooked russet tail of his curled up around him. The expression on his face was oddly serene. He lives, and I'm going to keep it that way.

_Stop staring!_

I jerked my gaze away, remembering that he would wake in seconds. Knowing that he is alive made my heart skip a little. That doesn't matter now, I must stop him from leaving camp!

"Yawn… morning, Leafdrop. Aren't you usually out on patrol by now?" Breezespark muttered, clearly not awake.

"It's too windy out there, so I'm waiting til the wind calms down. You should, too."

Breezespark seems convinced at the reason to sleep in. "Mmm, well then, I'm just going to..." he plopped back down into the comfortable moss and was unconscious within a blink of an eye. I sighed. That was easy. May the tragedy now be avoided.

Feathershine bounced up. "Hey, Leafdrop! What about a morning patrol?"

I closed my eyes and pretended I was dozing off.

Many others went on patrol, yet none ended up crushed to death by a branch with blood red leaves. Call it a coincidence. A little before sun-high, when the wind slowed a tiny bit, Breezespark and I left camp to do the patrols we missed this morning. Crossing the freezing river with snapped twigs floating on it, I decided to head in the opposite direction of the fallen branch.

"I thought we usually head towards the maples?" The russet tom said.

I sighed. "Maybe I'm in the mood for a different path today." Deliberately avoiding where the accident had happened, I walked towards the birch field. Birch trees had less branches after all. Should the wind start again, I'd like to see these tiny twigs attempt to squish a full grown cat.

We walked through a carpet of yellow leaves, which began twirling as a breeze started. Breezespark stopped and stared at his left.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I hear something in that direction." I gestured to go with him, but he shook his head. "Go on, I'll catch up with you in a bit."

I went on for maybe four steps before deciding that it's best not to leave Breezespark alone, and heart-racingly ran after him. On the field by several silver birches, there he stood, yelling at something.

"I told you not to come after me," he meowed in exasperation, "But I guess that doesn't matter now. Look at those foxes run!"

He angled his head at the several orange creatures running away with their tails between their legs. It's foxes that he heard. For foxes to appear on our territory is not uncommon, however, the way they're scattering off…

"They're as scared as mice! Ha, and all I did was yell at them..."

_You mouse-brain!_

I was wrong about the birches. Their trunks are rather weak, and fall just as easily, no, even easier than the maple branches. Yellow leaves sprinkled the ground, and I hardly noticed the white tree toppling amongst the other swaying trees.

A coincidence, is that all? It ought to just be a coincidence, right?

Then how come this was also how the last time ended?

It's alright. Calm down, I told my speeding heart. He's still alive, in an alternate timeline. At least, he will be. I composed myself, focusing only on my surroundings. The red-stained yellow leaves floated in the opposite direction as the wind. Its red paled.

**Again.**

"This isn't the way we usually go."

"Well, there always is better hunting on the fields during windy days, so we're going there!" I walked with false cheerfulness, humming as I avoided the patch of maple trees.

Silence as we reached the clearing.

"I hear something coming from over there. Be right back!" He ran to the far end of the field, and I chased after him.

I underestimated the speed of the fastest cat in camp. There he is now, the idiotic russet tom, balancing on the branch of a maple tree. "Breezespark, too dangerous! Come down now!" I yelled. He didn't hear me, and was staring at something orange on the ground. The wind raged. Something snapped. Scream. I shut my eyes. Tears. Dripping. Rustle of leaves.

Light pierced through the blurred mess that is my eyes. Covered by the red leaves and branch, the russet paw under had its claws on an unmoving robin. I sobbed. Tears streamed down my face, and choking on my own breath, my trembling legs gave in.

It can't be all there is.

**Again.**

"Yawn… morning, Leafdrop. Aren't you usually out on patrol by-"

"Whatever. You're sticking in your nest today. I smell sickness from you."

"What?" My childhood friend jumped up. "But I feel perfectly fine! You, on the other hand..."

"It must be your vivid imagination," I snapped, trying to keep my voice from sounding too nasally. "I've already told Mintsong to keep an eye on you, so stay and be good." I quickly left before I could break into tears.

The russet cat did not leave the warriors den, that's all I cared about, watching cats enter and leave the camp. Around sun-high, my body began to ache in the tiny bush I was hiding in. Most cats have left camp already, leaving my gaze to stare unobstructedly at the warriors den in the cliffside.

Even though I was the one who told him to sleep, the fact that he can sleep this long surprised me. Had it been me, I would have ran off after a moment or two of pretend sleeping, no, I wouldn't have obeyed the cat who told me to stay in the first place.

Mintsong skipped out of her den, singing as she went to check the elders for their health. A while after, the cream she-cat left and headed for the nursery. Soon, that medicine cat is going to arrive at the warriors den, discovering that Breezespark, the cat who supposedly had a fever, is in perfect health. I must quickly think of something to keep him occupied.

A thump. The cheerful song broke into a scream. Mintsong stood frozen in front of the warriors den. I snapped out of my thoughts and jumped into camp. The den was dark, but as I stared inside, my eyes slowly adjusted. It looked normal as usual, with the cosy moss, the rocks in the center of the den, and… wait.

The warriors den had collapsed. Sharp boulders dented the ground, and there were gravel everywhere. At least half of the den was covered by gigantic rocks.

Splatters of red. A crooked tail. Russet.

No.

No. No. No.

_"Breezepaw, your tail!"_

_"It doesn't hurt," he shrugged. "Anyways, better this than you getting killed, right?"_

_"I don't. Get. Killed. That. Easily."_

_"That rogue almost got you. It's a fact, so stop trying to deny it."_

_I sighed. "Thanks, I guess. You should get Mintpaw to check on your tail, just in case."_

_"Alright, alright," he beamed. "We're always going to watch out for each other, right?"_

Shrieks. Wails. I'm tearing up again. Useless, cowardly tears, unable to achieve a thing.

What good is crying when I can't even save him?

**Again.**

"What a beautiful day, isn't it, Leafdrop? Can you go-"

I looked at the gray leader. "Actually, I have another idea." My legs shook as I continued my statement. "How about bringing all the apprentices along on a hunting patrol? I mean after all, it is a beautiful day."

"Great idea!" said Windystar, who did not notice the absolute poor condition of the weather right now. Well, this should all work out fine.

Contrasting my shivering insides, I smiled for the first time of the several todays I had been through. A large and innocent smile, a smile that would convince any cat that one does not have a single ulterior motive.

We gathered the apprentices, Birdpaw, Darkpaw, Cloudypaw, along with Feathershine. Breezespark should be joining us any second.

"You're going on a patrol, Leafdrop? I'll come with you!" He grinned brightly at the exact same place, with the exact same look, asking to go with me in the exact same way he did, before the first time he died. The memories came back. I almost straightforwardly rejected him. My leg trembled as I nodded.

"Why not? This is a training session, after all. The more cats the better!"

We crossed the river that froze our paws with its unnerving cold. We headed for the maple trees, the way I always went when on patrols. I told Breezespark to slow his pace. "Let's walk a little behind the apprentices, to make sure none of them trails behind."

The wind howled, sending its wrath to the forest, making the maples shake with fear, and perhaps I along with it. The branch crashed down in flurries of red leaves.

Breezespark rushed to save them. I knew he would be willing to risk himself, like how he saved me when we were apprentices. I cannot stop him, and so I planned this scenario.

He would have died if there were only Feathershine. He would have died if there were only the apprentices. This time, there are four cats to block the branch for him. I stared down at the ground and didn't move. This either will work or it won't, and he'll be dead again. In that case, I'll just go back and recruit more cats to die. Yes, even if I had to use the whole clan…

_Thump!_

It seems like I won't have to use the whole clan. Looking up at the several tail sticking out from under the branch, he stood by them, his back towards me. The twigs and the blood-coloured leaves are still intact a whisker-length above him. He slowly turned around, and I met his bright blue eyes. There was only a scratch on his face.

"You're safe," I breathed.

"Why are you smiling?"

I blinked at him, and he repeated again. "Leafdrop. You're smiling."

"I am?" I only noticed after he said it, that the muscles around my mouth were extremely tense. All of a sudden, I had an intense urge to laugh.

He looked at me, his eyes looking a slight bit hollow. "You didn't plan this, right?"

I took a deep breath in, closed my eyes, and didn't respond.

"No, you couldn't have. No cat could have predicted that the branch was going to fall." He was trying to convince himself. "Yet, the timing. It seemed like you knew the timing."

"Hey Leafdrop, this wasn't the reason why you told me to walk behind the apprentices, was it?"

I didn't reply.

"It's not the reason why you told the apprentices to come, even though you scarcely interacted with them, was it?"

"Leafdrop, answer me. Tell me you didn't know the branch was going to fall. Tell me why you were smiling. Tell me..." the russet tom choked on his words.

As did I, even though no words escaped my mouth. How could I have used the apprentices in such a horrible way? What have I done… what have I done… what have I done… this isn't right.

**Again.**

The branch will fall a while after we leave camp. The birch tree falls later in the morning. A moment after noon, the warriors den will collapse.

It is impossible to fall asleep in a place once you know it will be destroyed in the very near future. The very unease of knowing keeps you awake.

I finally couldn't take it any more and went to sit outside. No one is awake, not Breezespark, not Windystar, not Feathershine nor anyone else. The silence is nerve-racking, for every tiny breeze reminds me of the deaths that could happen.

The sky is red. Bright red. Maple red. As red as the blood that splattered onto the branches upon crashing down. I shook my head. The haunting images remained, clear and etched into my mind.

"You woke quite early today, Leafdrop." The leader meowed. "May I add, what a beautiful day, isn't it? Can you go patrol where you usually patrol, near the maples?"

I nodded in exhaustion. "I'm waiting for Breezespark to wake up, though." and yawned after explaining.

Breezespark bounced out of the warriors den at precisely the same time. The sun peeked right over the treetops. "You're going on a patrol, Leafdrop? I'll come with you!" He paused beside me. "You look like you're going to fall asleep. Maybe you should go back to your nest and-"

"No!" That is the last thing I want to do. "I'm just… I didn't sleep well last night, that's all. Nothing you need to worry about. Let's go." I quickly headed for the camp entrance, yawning as I went. To my relief, he did not retort.

We crossed the bitter cold river, and followed our usual path through the forest. Huh, that's weird. Wouldn't it be better if I took him to some other parts of the territory? I could turn left now, or go right, or even turn back and go the other way. My legs did not stop as we continued towards the maple trees.

_Stop, Leafdrop. Stop right now!_

The wind unleashed its attack to the trees. The branch above us snapped. It's all going to happen again. There's no way for me to change anything. Nothing can be saved. It must be fate.

I turned and looked at Breezespark, at the content shining in his blue eyes, at his crooked tail, waving in the air. My heart raced. I don't want him to die in front of me.

_**Never again.**_

The branch tumbled down from the treetops, sending maple leaves flying and fluttering about. Like blood red butterflies.

Pain.

My limbs feel heavy. Something was pressing me down from above. Ah, I did push him away then, in the end. Puddles of wetness formed beneath me, and I found breathing harder than ever. I looked up.

"Leafdrop..." He murmured. Was he crying?

"Don't cry," I wanted to tell him, "I'm not worth getting upset over. I killed so many cats in that alternate future." Even if I said that, he's not going to understand. What am I thinking? I should just go back and fix everything again.

If I could fix anything at all.

_I've failed you, Breezespark._

I looked up, higher, beyond the trees, where sunshine sparkled and brightened. White pain swallowed me, my conscious withering until I could feel nothing.

_I am so tired._

High in the sky, gracefully shining like always, the sun was still.


End file.
